I wrote this piece two weeks ago for a different forum. Now I am posting it here. I started attending FallBrook Church four weeks ago. The church is wonderful. The pastor is a man of God. The messages so far have been truly uplifting. I have been celibate since 2010 for personal reasons. On the internet, there are a lot of forums, groups, websites, where sex is the primary focus. When sex is not your primary focus, not everyone will understand what you are doing because you are moving from the norm. This is encouragement for the celibate folks. Part 2 is coming soon.
May 6, 2012
In church today, the message was on Uriah’s loyalty to God. Uriah was the husband of Bathsheba and was killed in Battle. David was having an affair with Ms. Bathsheba. The pastor discussed how Uriah postponed having pleasure with his wife to serve the Lord. David wanted Uriah to go home, after returning from the field, to lie with his wife, but Uriah obeyed the Lord instead. At that time, David was controlled by sex, pleasure, drinking, and partying. David did not understand Uriah and what Uriah was trying to do. What controls you, consumes you. Sex used to control me. I had little to no moderation. If I went two weeks without sex, I would have withdrawal symptoms. I was cranky, very cranky. I would sleep with whoever just to break the cycle. Now I am almost 2 years into being Celibate. Not everyone will understand the reasons why you chose this lifestyle. You may needed peace of mind; maybe having sex conflicted with your religion; maybe you simply needed a break. People will not understand because sex is one of their primary focuses. The enemy, whoever it may be, will gnaw at you, reminding you of what you used to be or used to do. You may get a text or phone call at 2 a.m. from Him or Her. Him or Her may want to reminisce about the days of old, causing you a weak moment. You may have to let folks go to continue on this journey. If every time he or she contacts you and wants to discuss sex, maybe your relationship needs reconsideration. You do not need exposure to something, which contradicts your current purpose (even if you have to give up porn, erotica, and yes, self-pleasure). This journey of celibacy is a hard journey, with plenty of rocks, mountains, cliffs, forks to cause a quick detour. And if you slip, dust yourself off, and get back up again. As previously stated, sometimes you have to postpone instantaneous pleasure to obtain what you need mentally and physically, to elevate yourself to the next level.
Stacie D. Wyatt